Breaking Down.

I got my cable turned back on. I've been without it since February, simply because I found I just didn't watch much TV. I hate television, frankly. It's a time waster, and it makes you dumb. When I did have super-basic cable, the only channels that didn't enrage me were The CW, Disney Channel, and C-Span. And in the time since I've stopped watching it, I've found that the few occasions I'm with people who have it on, I get angry. I generally have to restrain myself from shouting "WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THIS GARBAGE?!" And pulsating rage, as I'm sure you can tell, is not a good look for me. I've even been known to throw things at the television (soft things, of course). This generally only happens when there's a pundit on TV, though. Unfortunately, even the morning news shows I used to love watching have begun to get on my nerves. I mean, everyone loves Al Roker, but how many times can he say "and SLOWLY I turned" before it stops being funny? So I'm sure you're wondering why I got my cable turned on. Well, since you asked, here are my three Very Important Reasons. 1) Barack Obama. I know, I know. But I really wanted to watch his speech tonight, and I really want to watch the debates when they start up. I need to see him and Joey Biden (with Mama Biden looking on lovingly) crush McCain and his veep. And once he's elected, I'll have to watch the inauguration, so that means I might as well bite the bullet until January. 2) Serena and Blair. Gossip Girl is the Greatest Show of Our Time. And I missed it so hard when I gave up TV, but then I discovered they started streaming full episodes online. And then they stopped. But now they're gonna start doing it again, but dangit, I can't watch GG while I'm at work (or can I?) so cable it is. I miss Serena's ability to screw everything up without lifting a finger. I miss Blair's sheer awesomeness. And I need to see what freakishly long-legged Jenny Humphrey is wearing this season. 3) Simpsons reruns. There's nothing like coming home from work and watching The Simpsons for an hour. I miss Marge's disapproving grumble. Of course, all of my current goodwill toward cable television will be shattered if I have to see any of the following: Wolf Blitzer; One Tree Hill; Matt Lauer; and anything with "Cashmere," "Love," "Hell," or "Desperate," in the title. Cross your fingers for me!

yay! but...

My feelings on Rihanna are well-documented (or were, on the old incarnation of this blog), so I'm sure you can imagine the serious WTF?? face I had when I saw this poster. 'Ye? Check! N*E*R*D? I thought ya'll were broken up, but sure! Lupe? SHHHYEAAAAAHHHH! (Did I mention I'm going to see him tomorrow night? I'm so effin' excited, you guys!!!) But... Rihanna? How does she fit in? Maybe they really needed a chick who was hot right now and Beyonce's tour rider was longer than everyone else's put together? And, well, Mariah is crazy. That's about all I can think of. Rih's music is slightly weird, so I can see how she fits in that way, but come on! {haterism}Unlike everyone else on that poster, she doesn't actually have a talent, and that just doesn't feel right.{/haterism} Oh well, assuming the bottom is in chronological order, I'm pretty sure I'll be going to this show... kinda late. *Note: I'm loving this poster. Very Return of the Jedi.

Amy Amy Amy

"Masculine, you spin a spell / I think you'd wear me well / Amy, Amy, Amy / Where's my moral parallel..."

Amy Winehouse is a prophet. She's also deeply screwed up and rocketing quickly toward an untimely demise.

I've probably listened to Frank and Back to Black more than any other albums in the last year-and-half. Her voice, the soulful, jazz-soaked music, and her tough-as-nails-yet-secretly-vulnerable lyrics all combine to create perfection.

I hate to see her the way she is now. Especially when you compare her to the Amy of four years ago: bright-eyed, curvaceous, with a sweet (if mischievous) smile. She's become almost skeletal, washed out, drugged up, covered in ink, and addicted to a man who is obviously no good. And I hate the names. "Amy Wino," "Amy Crackhouse." It's obvious to me why celebs go off the deep end. They're surrounded by people who don't care about them (only what they can provide), and either totally idolized or demonized by the public. Since most people see themselves through the eyes of others, it's no wonder they lose control. There's no balance in that world.

And when you layer that on top of the fact that most brilliant artists are deeply troubled/insecure/eager to please, it becomes this cake of destruction, with money as the frosting.

I saw a shallow piece on Jezebel.com which asked if some of the responsibility of stars' demises (specifically Winehouse) lay upon the shoulders of paparazzi and rabid fans. I think that if a person is already troubled, it certainly doesn't help.

But I'm curious as to why some people, mostly white women - Amy, Britney, Lindsay - succumb to the pressures of fame and the false idolatry of celebrity. If you look at black female stars - Gabby, Beyonce, Halle - the same doesn't hold true. Perhaps the implicit racism of the entertainment industry offers some protection. Despite the advent of black celeb gossip sites - YBF, Media Takeout, Bossip - stars of color are (thankfully?) STILL being ignored by gossip powerhouses People, TMZ, and Us Weekly. Without that pressure, maybe it's easier to live your life.

But this piece is about Amy. To write and perform the songs that have meant so much to so many, well, you'd have to be more than a little screwed up. But the line between being screwed up and utter destruction is... well, it's not thin, but it isn't thick either.

I guess all of this is to say, I just want her to get better. ____

Watching: Veronica Mars, Season One

"i'm into that now..."

I was compulsively checking Facebook yesterday when it occurred to me that I might have a problem. And when I say "compulsively" I mean every-couple-of-minutes-fingers-blindly-typing-in-www.facebook.com-using- sheer-muscle-memory.

And it's not like there was anything new. Sure, a notification here ("so-and-so also commented on such-and-such's photo") or a message there ("you have received a message from random-event-you-weren't-planning-on-attending"); but these were few and far between. Sometimes I'd be halfway through typing the address before I'd realize that's what I was doing, and I'd shake my head, and still press send. Last night at 11:22 pm I was logging on again to the mobile site with my BB and I realized things were getting utterly ridiculous. A ha! I thought. 48 hours without Facebook. The thing is, Facebook is a useful website. I can keep up with friends in California from high school, my people from HU, folks I meet randomly at parties and such, and the people I actually meet on the site. The company has done a great job of integrating real life interactions with the web. In other words, the "cool kids" are just as likely to be found there as the lames and the (forgive me) "n00bs." It's a concept that works. But like any good thing, enough is as good as a feast (this expression being one I heard on Mary Poppins and didn't fully understand for many years). I just need to learn what "enough" is. I've been pretty successful today. I've caught myself a few times typing that "f" into Firefox, but I ended up putting in Flickr.com instead. I know I'm missing stuff, but it'll be there when I sign back on... ...in 27 hours and 2 minutes. ______ Listening to: the band here at the grill. They just covered one of my favorite Harry Connick Jr. covers, "Something You Got."

unfortunate conclusions

I love children's books. I've spent time wandering through Oz, riding in the ear of the BFG, coloring with a purple crayon, and laughing at the residents of Avonlea. There are dozens of other kid lit books that have made an indelible impression on me. But one of my all-time favorite children's books is The Phantom Tollbooth.

It's completely random, yet crafted perfectly, and so deliciously punny you can taste the words on your tongue. Maybe I love it because I love puns, and maybe I love it because it's brilliant.

Right now I'm reading the chapter about the dangers of jumping to Conclusions; Conclusions being an island full of people who decided something without having a good reason for their decision.

It's a pity it's not a real place (although I'd probably be a permanent resident). _____

Listening to: iTunes on shuffle Erykah Badu, "Kiss Me On My Neck"