I was talking to a good friend last night (henceforth known as "The GM," thanks wife!) and because we have the kind of relationship where we can talk about anything without him freaking out, the subject of marriage and kids came up. Actually, he brought it up. Once he finishes grad school he wants to get married. Like, that afternoon. In fact, he wants to get his future wife pregnant immediately. Like, on the honeymoon.
Me: I'm gonna need at least two years of marital bliss before children enter the picture.
Him: how do you intend to prevent your husband from getting you pregnant?
Me: birth control, clearly.
Him: yeah... [Laughing] Cuz there's no way I'd wear a condom. I might even hide the pills.*
Instead of making a crack about his biological clock ticking, I asked him why he was in such a rush.
Me: but if you start having kids right away, you don't get to go out on dates and have spontaneous rendezvous in the kitchen!
Him: isn't that what dating is for?
Me: well, if you get married, it's sanctified by the Lord...
No dice. He also would prefer his future wife (apparently, that person may be me) to take his name.
Here's the thing. I think a woman should do whatever it is she wants to do. My fly, liberated, fabulous Lauren says she can't wait to change her name. I polled two of my office mates (both of whom are in serious relationships) also; U said unequivocally "no," while E said she wouldn't, but only because her fiance has a hyphenated name and "that would just be a mess." I tend to agree. My kids would definitely have his name, but hyphenation is a "maybe" option for me. A quick text message poll of several male friends showed an overwhelming "heck yeah she's gonna take my name" response.
Sigh. I'm all for a man being the head of the family, etc, but my name means too much to me to give it up. GM also wants like 5 kids, so if I'm supposed to be knocked up for 5 years straight, then could I at least please have my name? Do I look like Michelle Duggar? Get the heck out of here with that!
*The GM is actually not nearly as chauvinistic as this post makes him sound. He's a nice, smart, guy with the kind of dry humor that makes it hard to tell when he's being serious. So I'm just gonna assume he was kidding.
Listening to: The Dears, "There Goes My Outfit."