Breaking Down.

I got my cable turned back on. I've been without it since February, simply because I found I just didn't watch much TV. I hate television, frankly. It's a time waster, and it makes you dumb. When I did have super-basic cable, the only channels that didn't enrage me were The CW, Disney Channel, and C-Span. And in the time since I've stopped watching it, I've found that the few occasions I'm with people who have it on, I get angry. I generally have to restrain myself from shouting "WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THIS GARBAGE?!" And pulsating rage, as I'm sure you can tell, is not a good look for me. I've even been known to throw things at the television (soft things, of course). This generally only happens when there's a pundit on TV, though. Unfortunately, even the morning news shows I used to love watching have begun to get on my nerves. I mean, everyone loves Al Roker, but how many times can he say "and SLOWLY I turned" before it stops being funny? So I'm sure you're wondering why I got my cable turned on. Well, since you asked, here are my three Very Important Reasons. 1) Barack Obama. I know, I know. But I really wanted to watch his speech tonight, and I really want to watch the debates when they start up. I need to see him and Joey Biden (with Mama Biden looking on lovingly) crush McCain and his veep. And once he's elected, I'll have to watch the inauguration, so that means I might as well bite the bullet until January. 2) Serena and Blair. Gossip Girl is the Greatest Show of Our Time. And I missed it so hard when I gave up TV, but then I discovered they started streaming full episodes online. And then they stopped. But now they're gonna start doing it again, but dangit, I can't watch GG while I'm at work (or can I?) so cable it is. I miss Serena's ability to screw everything up without lifting a finger. I miss Blair's sheer awesomeness. And I need to see what freakishly long-legged Jenny Humphrey is wearing this season. 3) Simpsons reruns. There's nothing like coming home from work and watching The Simpsons for an hour. I miss Marge's disapproving grumble. Of course, all of my current goodwill toward cable television will be shattered if I have to see any of the following: Wolf Blitzer; One Tree Hill; Matt Lauer; and anything with "Cashmere," "Love," "Hell," or "Desperate," in the title. Cross your fingers for me!