Amy Amy Amy

"Masculine, you spin a spell / I think you'd wear me well / Amy, Amy, Amy / Where's my moral parallel..."

Amy Winehouse is a prophet. She's also deeply screwed up and rocketing quickly toward an untimely demise.

I've probably listened to Frank and Back to Black more than any other albums in the last year-and-half. Her voice, the soulful, jazz-soaked music, and her tough-as-nails-yet-secretly-vulnerable lyrics all combine to create perfection.

I hate to see her the way she is now. Especially when you compare her to the Amy of four years ago: bright-eyed, curvaceous, with a sweet (if mischievous) smile. She's become almost skeletal, washed out, drugged up, covered in ink, and addicted to a man who is obviously no good. And I hate the names. "Amy Wino," "Amy Crackhouse." It's obvious to me why celebs go off the deep end. They're surrounded by people who don't care about them (only what they can provide), and either totally idolized or demonized by the public. Since most people see themselves through the eyes of others, it's no wonder they lose control. There's no balance in that world.

And when you layer that on top of the fact that most brilliant artists are deeply troubled/insecure/eager to please, it becomes this cake of destruction, with money as the frosting.

I saw a shallow piece on Jezebel.com which asked if some of the responsibility of stars' demises (specifically Winehouse) lay upon the shoulders of paparazzi and rabid fans. I think that if a person is already troubled, it certainly doesn't help.

But I'm curious as to why some people, mostly white women - Amy, Britney, Lindsay - succumb to the pressures of fame and the false idolatry of celebrity. If you look at black female stars - Gabby, Beyonce, Halle - the same doesn't hold true. Perhaps the implicit racism of the entertainment industry offers some protection. Despite the advent of black celeb gossip sites - YBF, Media Takeout, Bossip - stars of color are (thankfully?) STILL being ignored by gossip powerhouses People, TMZ, and Us Weekly. Without that pressure, maybe it's easier to live your life.

But this piece is about Amy. To write and perform the songs that have meant so much to so many, well, you'd have to be more than a little screwed up. But the line between being screwed up and utter destruction is... well, it's not thin, but it isn't thick either.

I guess all of this is to say, I just want her to get better. ____

Watching: Veronica Mars, Season One