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8.07.2008

Ok. Here's my quandary (it's been a minute since I asked for relationship advice):

I met a guy randomly in the town where I work. He seemed nice, and we chatted for a bit. We exchanged numbers. This was a month ago, by the way. He called me before I was going to Boule, wanting to hang out, but I was busy. We hung out once in town, walking around, chatting, getting ice cream. He was still nice. But... there was no there, there. He was saying all the things that most girls would want to hear (you know, the 'total package' nonsense) but there was no evidence that he reads, or thinks critically about things.

And that's the thing. My linesister was like, 'you need to date someone like you.' And by that, I took her to mean I need someone who's curious about life, politics, race relations, gender issues, and doesn't just listen to whatever's playing on Hot 97. Granted, most people don't fit this bill, but that's just the deal. I tried dating someone I didn't have anything in common with (some of you may remember TL). It didn't work. Here's the thing: I like to talk about stuff, and one day, I'm gonna find someone who likes to talk about the same stuff (we don't have to agree). Until then, I'll have to occupy myself with a string of lovaahhs.

Point being, what do I tell this boy? Do I keep avoiding him? I've been putting him off for three weeks, with flimsy excuse after flimsy excuse. Do I tell him, straight up, "you're nice, but I don't want to date ... you." Or do I ...?

7 new thought(s):

X Factor said...

You're young, so there's no rush or urgency to find "the one." You've only hung out once, so maybe he hasn't gotten warmed up. Maybe go out with him again- give him a chance :) And then if you really don't get any meaningful conversation, let him know.

La said...

LESBIAN!!!! lol



Wait... no. X's advice is better, lol

Video Vix[o]n said...

I agree with X. Try to squeeze some convo out of him. If it seems he's too two dimensional, then he's probably not the one for you.

Though different may be good sometimes, open variety is better. Good luck with that.

the joy said...

Yes. 2nd date. Maybe something that will take him out of his box. An exhibit or a documentary, something that says Shani.

shani-o said...

Ok, guys, FINE.

Yellow Rebel said...

wow Shani-o...

I second what Vixon says.

CNEL said...

Yeah I think X and Vixon have it.

1) He may be getting used to you, and thus playing it cool.

2) You could try to tap into what his intellectual interests are. He must have some. What does he talk about a lot? What does he seem interested in aside from you?

3) You might want to engage him by bringing up those issues you care about point blank, engaging in a conversation about current events, or finding a way to bring it in.

4) Also, might want to incorporate a museum, gallery, poetry slam, or visit to a bookstore into a date.