Fondish Farewell To HRC

Hillary doesn't need to concede; everyone else has done it for her. Bomani Armah lists 10 Moments in Hillaryland that we'd sooner forget, on The Root. Of note is # 8: "From 1+1 to advanced quantum physics, the ever-changing electoral math," or, as I like to call it, her magical math.

"You can take a look at my SAT math scores or my checkbook ledger from last year to realize that I am only adequate in math, but the Hillary campaign changed the x's and y's so much that I think I'm going to stick with my times tables up to 10 from now on. From now on the election equation is calculated by:

big states — small states X Democratic stronghold states — 2/3 of fly-over states — pi of caucus states x 250% of rust belt primary states — states with up to 40% of the Negro population + number of superdelegates who owe you political favors + Puerto Rico and Guam."

(Note, I searched high and low for a truly flattering photo, and eventually gave up and went with her official headshot, available on her website. I will say, she looks quite lovely in it.)

It's over.

We have a nominee. He looks like this: I started to follow the Michigan and Florida delegate decisions made over the weekend, and found my blood pressure increasing when Hillary's supporters started chanting noise about going all the way to Denver with this foolishness. But then it occurred to me that Barack wasn't sweating the delegate count even before they decided to seat all the delegates with 1/2 a vote each. And if he isn't worried, why should I be? Barack Obama is the nominee. Even Hillary's supporters are calling her desperate at this point. And if a blind man can see that ... (sorry, I couldn't help myself!). As of today, I've decided I'm going to take a break from getting angry about that woman's magical math which puts her ahead in the popular vote. And her attempts to poach supers from Obama. And her racist supporters. And her husband. This primary — record breaking though it was — is over. And I'm gonna need my strength to get me through the general election.

Mocking Hillary at Trinity

I'm not convinced this is actually important, per se, but it surely is hilarious. [Stolen from PostBourgie.]

Misspake?

"Misspeak" is defined in the American Heritage Dictionary as: To speak mistakenly, inappropriately, or rashly. Now, let's compare two recent political misspeakings. If you'll recall, back in March, Senator Clinton said: "I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base." The then-U.S. troop commander in Bosnia reiterated what everyone else (including Sinbad) said at the time. "She never had her head down. There was no sniper threat that I know of." Her camp responded quickly, and creatively, saying she 'misspoke.' However, as I cited above, misspoke doesn't mean 'lied.' Misspoke means, 'spoke mistakenly.' I think it would be hard to speak mistakenly about what should have been a memorable experience, unless it didn't happen. In which case, she's just a liar. Moving on. Recently, Senator Obama said his uncle helped liberate concentration camp prisoners at Auschwitz. As anyone who paid attention in history class would know, the Commies did the liberating at Auschwitz. And, as it stands to reason that Obama's uncle wasn't a Red, some critically thinking people pointed that out. As it turns out, he misspoke. His great-uncle didn't help liberate prisoners at Auschwitz, oh no! He... wait, what? He helped liberate prisoners at one of the concentration camps in Buchenwald? Well, that's completely different! Shame on you, Barack Obama! In my opinion, 'misspeaking' is making a mistake when you make a speech. Like, for example, saying the wrong name of a concentration camp. Or, saying 'uncle' when you mean 'great-uncle.' Misspeaking is not saying you landed in a warzone under sniper fire, when in actuality, you meandered down the tarmac with your only child by your side, stopping to chat with soldiers and small children. But, that's just my opinion.

Hillary is Mom Jeans

Hey, do you guys remember how Michelle Obama is my new Bicycle? Well, guess what? Hillary is Mom Jeans. The website applies 'Hillary' to thousands of little annoying things that don't really matter, but piss us off to no end. It's 1000x funnier because it's so random and mean. Most heinous: Most annoying (especially because people ask me to do this): And, as we all know: Jameil and I spent minutes of hilarity clicking through the site (and making submissions). Mine? "Hillary shows up to dinner parties empty-handed."

Wednesday Randomness

1. Hillary is playing the waiting game, and so must we. That's it. Barack survived the media-manufactured sturm und drang of the Rev. Wright debacle, to take NC and come pretty close in Indy. Isn't that enough proof that this man is our nominee? I can wait for her to catch up. (Did you see how she loaned herself $6.4 million? And the Obamas are elitist? I tell you, it's Uppity Negro Syndrome!) 2. The Black Snob is killing me right now. Between her Wall of Sexy on flickr, featuring people who I agree are dreadfully sexy, and her hard work at reviving the Black Girl brand ... I'm officially through with her. 3. Hip hop is back. Well, it never really left, but since I've turned off the radio and started checking out sites that have real music (from Okayplayer to the homie Yellow Rebel), I'm going to say it's back. I mean, you've got The Roots killing the game right now, to sorta newbies Kidz in the Hall—who remind me of a more mature, less-rock-oriented Gym Class Heroes. "Drivin' Down The Block" is my new favorite song, and The In Crowd is quite good altogether. Check out the shout-out to HU at 1:45! 4. Busyness. Work-work, sorority work, hanging with friends and the potential (Lauren suggested "TB" as his blogonym, for various reasons, lol), and very little time to breathe. But I'd rather be busy than not busy. As they say, if you're bored, you're probably boring. 5. This is the hundredth post on my (new) blog!

Pa. Senator Endorses Obama + The Hillary Deathwatch

Two fun items in the news today. Bob Casey, Dem senator of Pennsylvania, guy who said he's remaining neutral in the race, endorsed Sen. Barack Obama. (Has anyone endorsed Hillary lately?) Says Casey: "I really believe that in a time of danger around the world and in division here at home, Barack Obama can lead us, he can heal us, he can help rebuild America." The senator will also be traveling through the state with Obama for a few days, as he tries to reach out to the blue-collar white men. Now to see if he can help Obama eat into that double-digit lead Sen. Clinton has. (New York has a pretty funny take on the situation.) Second fun item: Slate has started the Hillary Deathwatch. Numbers don't lie. Barring something ridiculous happening (which is not completely impossible), Hillary doesn't have a chance.

Duck down!

Clinton Misspoke About Bosnia Trip, Campaign Says Says Clinton: "I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base." Says Sinbad (and everyone else who was there): "What kind of president would say, 'Hey, man, I can't go 'cause I might get shot so I'm going to send my wife...oh, and take a guitar player and a comedian with you." Says Clinton spokesman, Wolfson: “It is possible in the most recent instance in which she discussed this that she misspoke in regard to the exit from the plane, but there is no question if you look at contemporaneous accounts that she was going to a potential combat zone, that she was on the front lines.” And the picture of Clinton, with Chelsea in tow (because, yeah, we're gonna bring the first lady and her teenage daughter to the 'front lines' of a combat zone) says: [Via the NYT] "We're not smiling, we're ... grimacing out of fear! And I'm wearing a flak jacket underneath this oh-so-fashionable mid-90s London Fog trench coat." Oh, she's such a lie!! I'm like Claire Huxtable when it comes to lying. Do you remember that episode when Vanessa was out all night with Jeremy and she told her parents she was studying at her friend Cara's house, and then Claire and Cliff found out because Rudy couldn't keep her mouth shut, and then they turned the couch to face the door and waited for Vanessa to come home? Remember?? Here's a link to it (no embedding, sorry). Well, right now I just wanna stop Hillary before she drifts deeper into the abyss of untruth.

Hillary Clinton + American Political Crazy Logic

Hillary Clinton will be the death of me. Far be it from me to call anyone (especially anyone I don't know personally) out of their name... But. That woman. Will be. The death of me. Clinton: "Sen. Obama speaks passionately on the trail about empowering American people. Today, I am urging him to match those words with actions to make sure people of Michigan and Florida have a voice and a vote in this election." Excuse, me, but ... what? How are you, Ms. Michigan-and-Florida-don't-matter-but-I'ma-leave-my-name-on-the-ballots-anyway, going to call on Obama to support a re-vote, when you didn't care, six months ago? Obama responded to this foolishness in an interview on AC360, where he pretty much dismissed her response (without getting catty!) with: "Sen. Clinton, I have to say on this, has been completely disingenuous. She said when she was still trying to compete with the votes in Iowa and New Hampshire that Michigan and Florida wouldn't count. Then, as soon as she got into trouble politically and it looked like she would have no prospects of winning the nomination without having them count, suddenly she's extraordinarily concerned with the voters there." (Ok, so, 'suddenly she's extraordinarily concerned' was kind of catty.) A note on the nonsense in Michigan and Florida: you people broke the rules. Yeah, I get it. You were tired of Iowa and New Hampshire getting all the shine, while you had more delegates. I understand, really, I do, why y'all popped up, sayin' "hey! we matter, too!" But. You broke the rules. Your DNC leaders screwed up, and now the people are paying for it. But what's funny is, no one seems to remember that first part. What we keep hearing is: "boohoo, our delegates aren't getting seated, our voters are disenfranchised!" What I'd really like to do is shake someone at the DNC, and possibly slap them around a little, and say, "You knew the rules, and you broke them. In WHAT world is talking about re-votes and the like ok?" Apparently, it's ok in America, land of the free, home of the Crazy Logic. But back to Hillary. This... woman... is ridiculous. I'd say laughable, but every time I start thinking about her, my blood pressure goes up. What's funny is, I used to like her. Of course, she was benefiting from my (and every other black person's) former affinity for her husband. But I was excited for the woman when she won a senatorial seat. I thought that was really cool. Like, how often do first ladies get to actually make policy? Awesome, right? But man, this campaign has slowly eroded every single grain of respect I had for her, to the point where her voice truly grates on my nerves. Her attacks on a Obama really did her in, at least for me. He's running the campaign her husband ran in 1992, meanwhile she has become the Herbert Walker of the equation. Obama's integrity is, as far as I can see, unimpeachable, and he hasn't stooped to her level. And now, with reports on her schedules as First Lady revealing that, um, she wasn't single-handedly responsible for anything she claims, except the child healthcare plan that Bill pretty much stepped on, I've become nonplussed. And her Crazy Logic makes me angry. (I do love this pic, with Sway hanging out in the background... whatever happened to Sway? And at what point does one move on from talking to 14-year-olds about the 'news?')

Obama responds to the Clintons suggestion

"I don't know how somebody who's in second place is offering the vice-presidency to someone who's in first place." Barack Obama. Um, that pretty much says it all. Did anyone else notice that Barack had his relaxed twang going on in Mississippi? And also, the Malcolm X vernacular? "The okey-doke," "bamboozle," "hoodwink." He knows his audience.

Obama + '99 Problems'

Stolen from the cool kids over at PostBourgie.

Change it up!!

The LAT reports Clinton is replacing her campaign manager Patti Solis Doyle with Maggie Williams (above). After my initial ha! over the fact that she's booting a Latina (the locked-up vote) in favor of a black woman (reaching out to the anti-mammy vote), I decided to do a little bit of research. I made a quick trip to LexisNexis, and now I'm not so sure this changing of the guard really matters. Both are old friends of Hillary's who have been with her since the beginning of her political life - Solis, back during Bill's first run, and Williams was chief of staff while Clinton was first lady (I wonder how much she had to do with that failed universal health care plan...). Solis had pretty much no experience in campaign management; pit that against the unstoppable pr machine Obama has (I know, I know, YES WE CAN! but he's got some sharks) and it's clear that Clinton needed an injection of something other than $5M. Williams held the Clintons down during the Whitewater escandale. It sounds like today is her payday. (Note: bonus points to whomever can tell me from which 90s kids/teen movie the title of this post comes.) ____ Listening to: Feist, "Secret Heart"

Random thoughts on Super Tuesday

I'm still waiting on results from the West. But right now, I suspect that Clinton and Obama will split the delegates fairly evenly.

I'm kind of terrified that he's not going to get the nom.

I've been greeting one of my coworkers with: "YES WE CAN!"

When I said it to my dad today on the phone, he was like "We can... what?"

Me: I'm not entirely sure, but whatever it is, we can do it!!

I want this.

I'll admit, his blackness is a factor. It's not the only factor, or even a major one (if it were, I would have supported Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and Alan Keyes). But it's there. Just...

I really want the "Yes We Can" and "There has never been anything false about hope" shirts from http://www.zazzle.com.

I'm wound up.

Hillary vs. Obama I and II

HAHAHAHAHA!

Edwards for VP!

John Edwards, my crush from '04, is dropping out of the race. I soooooo want him for Veep, though. Can we make that happen? ETA: Johnny isn't endorsing anyone, yet. I just can't see him endorsing Billary, though. And while Obama and Clinton have similar policy, they're so different in personality and message. I think Obama and Edwards align more, just because they both seem to ... care about people.

"It's crazy—Black people really do seem to love them!!"

Hey people! Have any of you been to this site? I came across it a couple of years ago, and was mildly amused by statements like:

Sally's always saying: "You go girl!" while "raising the roof" to mainstream hip-hop tracks at cheesy bars. That's fun! I relate to that.

and

Sally always says things that make me feel special, like: "You're so cool, you're different, you're not like other Black people!"

and

Johnny always says: "I'm not racist; one of my best friends is Black!" I think he might mean me!

Both of these things is a lot like the other: Rob made this pretty hilarious mash up.

Billary, part 3,023,202

Colbert I. King breaks down every single crappy argument Billary has made thus far. Goooooo Blacks! You! And You! Gimme a B! (Does anyone remember that skit from SNL?)